Blogs

Many of us have heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We may not realize that this phrase originates from a Nigerian proverb because it has been usurped in various communities. In the Eurocentric Western world, which often idealizes individualism and the traditional nuclear family, we seem to be moving further and further away from having a supportive village and closer to isolation.

Welcome to the first post in our new blog series, where we'll be exploring what we are discovering while working as a clinician within the AFCCA (Aggression Towards Families and Caregivers in Childhood and Adolescence) family support program. In this initial post, I’ll address the 5 W's—who, what, why, when, and where—to give you a clear picture of what to expect.

Welcome to the first post in our new blog series, where we'll be exploring what we are discovering while working as a clinician within the AFCCA (Aggression Towards Families and Caregivers in Childhood and Adolescence) family support program. In this initial post, I’ll address the 5 W's—who, what, why, when, and where—to give you a clear picture of what to expect.

As a birth mother, Mothers’ Day is a difficult time.

Personally, I was not aware of any ‘open’ adoptions when I was growing up. I knew there was a difference between ‘public’ and ‘private’ adoptions but that was the extent of my knowledge of ‘different’ adoptions.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.

The experiences of Black adoptees and adoptive parents aren’t usually included in mainstream media. However, there have been some inspiring projects that should be celebrated for shedding light on the legacy, challenges and triumphs of adoption in the Black community.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." This quote by Maya Angelou is one of my favorites.

When I think about all the buzz word of the past ten years, I’m hard pressed to find one more used than “self-care.”

Before I began my adoption journey, I knew I wanted my child to stay connected to her biological family as long as it was a healthy and safe connection.

Things don't have to be perfect to be important, meaningful, and worthy and neither do people. I am committed to loving my children so wholly, that I accept every part of their story and everyone who is a part of it.

We have learned to sit with this grief, though, while intentionally savouring the small, joyful moments we share during the holidays and practising gratitude for this wonderful, messy family filled with love.

Christmas isn’t so magical, but every year we try hoping for progression, change, a glimpse of happiness...

For the parents out there struggling... I see you.

And it is in these truths—that parenting is hard and it so matters—that our commonalities remain; a reality that brings us together. 

At first I struggled with feelings of shame and guilt until I realized I was internalizing the criticisms of people who loved me, but did not share my lived experience.

We need resources, we are not trained for this.

This is kinship and it’s really hard.

We have navigated first time driving, first dates and your first job. As I look to the future the list of firsts seems endless.