To other adoptive, kinship, and customary caregivers, I want to say this: you are not alone. Openness is a journey, and it looks different for every family. Trust your instincts, listen to your children, and give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that is enough.

As a birth mother, Mothers’ Day is a difficult time.

Personally, I was not aware of any ‘open’ adoptions when I was growing up. I knew there was a difference between ‘public’ and ‘private’ adoptions but that was the extent of my knowledge of ‘different’ adoptions.

Things don't have to be perfect to be important, meaningful, and worthy and neither do people. I am committed to loving my children so wholly, that I accept every part of their story and everyone who is a part of it.

Finally, in a coffee shop, I met with the woman through whom I have the greatest gift. Slowly, our nervousness lifted—or mine at least, I cannot speak for her, but I think we both warmed up a little. As we shared photos and stories our common admiration grew.